Robotronix and the Fantastical Machine: An Archives Adventure: Chapter 3

And now, the thrilling conclusion of the tale of Robtronix and Vroom Vroom and their quest to save the land from the forces of evil. (Be sure you've read chapters 1 and 2 already.)

Well on their way to the lair of madness & displeasure with the enchanted elixir, Robo, Vroom, R2, and Wicket were verbally accosted by a gang of M.U.S.C.L.E. men making off-color remarks about Wicket's genitalia.

"Do you desire to have a piece of me?" challenges Robotronix.

"Aw, hells yeah! Break 'em off sumthin'!" encourages Vroom Vroom.

The team of good guys busts open a pack highlighted by a Miguel Sano auto, a very powerfull assault indeed.

"YUB NUB!" taunts Wicket, gesturing wildly to his crotch.

The M.U.S.C.L.E. men answer with a Randy Jones SP, but the autographless Sano card just mocks them to no end. They run away in tears. R2-D2 almost feels pity for the fallen bullies at first, but ultimately is happy to see their shame manifest itself. He makes a few droid noises to convey these feelings.

The team forages on, their resolve ever strengthened. But then, luck would have it, they find themselves in the crosshairs of two of America's troops. "Halt! Who goes there?" questions an army man.

"Sheeeeet, we's just tryin' to do what's right. We ain't hurtin' nobody," says Vroom.

"Let's see what you got," the other army guy says cockily.

It's a heated battle, with Carlos Correa and Corey Seager duking it out.

"Ok, you guys are all right," the two army men say in perfect unison, "You can go upon your way."

"Upon my way?" says Vroom, looking for a fight. "WTF?!"

"It is not worth it. Our mission must not be compromised," a visibly consternated Robotronix counsels Vroom Vroom.

Cooler heads eventually prevail and the team moves forward toward the evil lair.

But you'll never guess what happened next. Yep, that's right! An obstacle was presented before them.

Ninjas, no less!

As is customary in this fictional fantasy world, the confrontation was decided by the opposing parties each opening a pack of baseball cards.

Thankfully, our heroes pulled a Kris Bryant card, and so the ninja uprising was quelled.

The joy of victory wait short lived however, as they could feel themselves getting closer to the root of all evil.

"This shit is fucked up, right here," opined Vroom. The others all murmured in agreement.

After a couple tense hours, they made their way to the lair of madness and displeasurement where the evil warlord resides.

They were so scared that Wicket pissed himself a little. Similarly, the robots and car had minor coolant leaks.

"(EEEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLLNNNNNEEEEESSSSS)," was the gist of what the evil warlock type guy was conveying to the crew, though in actuality it was much scarier and seemed to last about 45 minutes, give or take. Did I mention the evil guy can shoot lasers out of his eyes? Because, yeah, he totally can do that, among other badass stuff that wouldn't be safe around your kids.

"All right, it all comes down to this!" says Vroom.

"Press any key to continue," agreed Robo.

Nervously, they joined together and pried a package of cards from the fantastical machine and ever-so-slowly-and-meticulously separated the wrapper to reveal the cards perched therein.

Hark! A blue parallel (/199) of an Eduardo Perez autograph! Calling Eduardo Perez a "fan favorite" might be a bit of a stretch, but maybe-- just maybe-- it'll be enough.

The supreme source of all evil in the world then answered with a pack of his own.

"What-- what? How can this be?!" says the evil warchild. "I mean, hey, come on, Tony Perez is the father of Eduardo Perez-- that's gotta count for something, right?"

Sensing vulnerability in the air, Wicket takes advantage of the confusion to grab the enchanted elixir and dump it down the evil dude's throat.

Amplified *glug, glug* noises fill the air at deafening levels. Lightning goes off and it's just all around batshit crazy for a moment.

And in the next moment, the skies cleared and the darkness dissipated. Where once the evil guy stood, there was now a cute little monkey.

"Golly, fellas! I sure am sorry for how I treated everybody. I don't know what got into me. I was a Grade-A jerkface, no other way around it," apologized the monkey.

"Sheeeeet," replies Vroom Vroom. "Ain't no thang."

"We are happy that you are no longer an evil being," says Robo.

"Hop in and lets go pick raspberries for Auntie Helga to bake into a pie for us," says Vroom.

"Gee, that's sounds swell!" answers the happy monkey.

He and R2 hop in Vroom and the whole gang lets out a triumphant victory cry.

The End.

intermission for an anniversary

Hey guys, it's the 3rd birthday of Baseball Card Breakdown! Thanks a bunch to everybody who makes the effort a check out my ramblings on a regular basis.

I've got a bit too much going on right now to do a celebratory contest, but I likely will do one for my 800th post coming up soon (I believe this here is post #778).

In the interest of showing off cards, here are a couple Christmas Cards I've picked up recently.

This Billy Hamilton auto was a good price. Nice looking card with on-card signature. I've always loved speedsters.. Rickey, Raines, Vince Coleman, etc. Seems like Billy was just starting to recover from a cold start to the season, but just went on the DL with a concussion. Best of luck, Billy!

Trevor Story has cooled off since his record-breaking start to the season, but has shown he's no Kevin Maas and has what it takes to stick around in the bigs. Colorado had enough faith in him that they dumped Jose Reyes today, fresh off being reinstated from a domestic abuse suspension. This grey ("silver") parallel from 2014 Pro Debut is numbered 12/25 on the back and only ran me $5.55 shipped.

Well, that's it for today. Thanks again for reading and have a pleasant rest of your day.

Robotronix and the Fantastical Machine: An Archives Adventure: Chapter 2

When we last left our story, The Gloracle was helping Robotronix the Friendly Robot and Vroom-Vroom the Foul-Mouthed Automobile on their quest for peace. The Gloracle explained there was an evil force taking over the land. This force could only be neutralized by an enchanted elixir found high in the mountaintops to the west.

After a long journey upwardbound, Robo and Vroom found the shrine of the enchanted elixir.

"That shit's the enchanted elixir!" says Vroom Vroom. "Let's grab it and get the heck up outta here!"

"Behold the splendor. My circuitry is jazzed to the max," a visibly impressed Robo stammers.

"Let's pay tribute to the Gods of the Forbidden Temple here by opening some packages from the fantastical machine," suggests Vroom.

"These men strive to be fitter, happier, more productive," says Robo. "As should we all."

But just then...

A Wampa jumps out and grabs the enchanted elixir from the shrine. His spooky howling lets everyone know he means business and is not to be trifled with.

If it's a battle of packs from the fantastical machine you want, you've got it. There's lots of parrying and other moves as the foes dance the ballet of danger.

"We best get the fuck up outta here!" shouts Vroom over the shrill screeching of the Wampa.

But before the can retreat, they realize the Wampa wasn't alone.

"FUUUUUCK!!" yells Vroom.

"CRITICAL ERROR!! 404" spouts Robo, attempting to reboot his mainframe.

The other wampa appears to be the step-father of smaller one. In a series of primitive grunts, he seems to scold his step-son for not disposing with the challengers already.

The entanglement is fierce and vicious as elder wampa delivers a swift blow, while Vroom and Robo courageously answer with strong attack.

In the haze of battle, Vroom swipes the elixir and tosses it in his backseat. As he and Robo try to escape, the pair of wampas barrels down on them, spelling certain doom.

But at the last second, their buddies Wicket and R2-D2 show up and team up to fight the wampas.

Their combined forces overpower the wampas, who run away howling in defeat.

"Fuck yeah! Ya'll bitches can suck a trunk fulla dicks!" Vroom crudely taunts the retreating beasts.

"Elixir successfully acquired," says Robotronix. "What vectors should we set now?"

"Yub nub," answers Wicket.

"Twerk-tooo twibbet," chimes in R2.

"The fuck are you talking about?" says a visibly agitated Vroom Vroom.

"They are communicating to us that they possess knowledge of the Evil Overlord's fortress." says Robo.

"Well, sheeeet, let's get to steppin' then!"

And with that, the team is on their way.

[end of chapter 2]

Robotronix and the Fantastical Machine: An Archives Adventure: Chapter 1

Sometimes ripping Topps Archives gets me nostalgic for my younger days and I break out the toys and play with my cards like a little kid. I got 2 boxes of Archives this year, the first of which was excellent and I talked about it here. The second box will be busted over this little series of posts in storytime form. Enjoy!

One days Robotronix the robot and his buddy Vroom-Vroom the little yellow car are cruising on their way to pick raspberries for the pie Auntie Helga's planned to enter in the state pie competition when they come across Professor Huffnagle, a work-friend who is visible shaken.

"Robo, you must help me with this!," insists Professor Huffnagle.

"I've invented this machine that expels small packages from within it. Said packages contain images men who play the game of baseball. It's kind of a big deal! Evil forces are plotting to steal it even now. I'm just a fat, old British dude who couldn't punch my way out of a wet paper bag, so I need a baddd-ass robot like yourself to keep it safe."

Robotronix's circuits were abuzz with simulations of excitement and wonderment. "I accept this task you have assigned me," he states robotically.

"Wholly fuck, bro!," exclaimed Vroom-Vroom, his foul-mouthed automobile friend. "That's some heavy shit right there."

A gracious Professor Huffnagle nervously released a farewell fart and was on his way.

"Let's tuck into that crazy moonbeam box, Daddy-o," said Vroom-Vroom for some dumb reason.

"My programing confirms such a sample size could have beneficial implications. Beep-borp," replied Robotronix.

They each produce a package from the machine and unwrap its meaty innards.

"Sheeeet." said Vroom-Vroom. "That Bobby muthafuckka needs to get the fuck outta herr. Bitch-ass best close his shirt."

"My sensors are indicating displeasure levels greatly elevated," agreed Robotronix, before violently erupting in a series of beeps and boops which is how he vomits.

Time passes. The two go on their way.

Nearly 45 minutes later, they're accosted by a youth immersed in goth culture.
"Sup, bitches?," inquires the youth.

Snagging a pack from the fantastical machine, Stan challenges a dual.

Robotronix answers with a pack himself, and Stan is kept at bay.

"Why's you gotsa be such a bitch?!," asks Vroom Vroom to Goth Stan.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, guys. It's like there's been an evil force around here lately. It's turning everything that's good into shit."

"Does not compute," says Robotronix.

"Yeah, man. It sure doesn't." And with that Goth Stan slinks away.


Moments later, a maniacal Wally Joyner jumps out from behind a rock.

"Oh great, an evil robot come to run amok in my home. Not if I can help it!," Wally exclaims.

Robo replies, "Error. Error." But it's too late, as Wally has challenged with a pack.

"Boo-yacka-shaw!!," shouts Wally.

"Shove that up your ass!," shouts Vroom-Vroom, quite offensively.

Relenting, Wally backs down. "Ok, you guys know you're stuff."

"We mean no harm to anyone," says Robo.

"Yeah, I can tell you're a solid robot. Respect. What are you guys doing out here, anyway?"

"Sheeeet," answers Vroom, "We'z tryin to protect this machine from bad guys."

"Bad guys, eh?," says Wally. "I think you guys should go see the Gloracle. The Gloracle would be able to point you in the right direction."

Wally tells them where to find the Gloracle. They shake hands and head their separate ways.


By dusk, they've entered the lair of the Gloracle. Ominous sounds bounce all around and reverberate off the pair's metallic casings.

"Who goes there?" a ghostly voice calls.

"It's a robot and a talking car looking for the Gloracle." says Vroom.

"You've found that which you seek," says the Gloracle, revealing himself.

"Sch-weeet!" says Vroom. "Now you can help us on our quest."

"First, you must prove you are pure of heart by besting me in a competition," says the Gloracle.

They grab competing packs from the machine. Vroom is victorious thanks in large part to Mike Trout.

"Very well," answers the Gloracle, "I shall help you with that in which you may thine seek."

"Know this, though: Your journey is just beginning!"

[end of chapter 1]

Gavin Lux is the Dodgers #1 draft pick!

If you've been following the 2016 MLB draft, you're likely aware that Gavin Lux was taken by the Dodgers as the 20th overall pick. Pretty cool! As the cardsphere's premiere Gavin Collector, it's obviously of interest to me. As a Padres fan, I'm conditioned to not like Los Angeles, but honestly I don't really hate the Dodgers that much. I'm totally fine with my Gavin brethren representing Dodger Blue. Sure, in a perfect world, he'd go to the Padres. Definitely prefer LA over him languishing in some third-world baseball organization like the Marlins or Dbacks. Gavin was committed to Arizona State and I figured he'd grind out a couple years there before going pro, but looks like he had a really strong HS senior season, and if you get drafted in the first couple rounds, that's a nice payday, so yeah, go for it. Apparently the other kid who was the top shortstop prospect allegedly failed a pre-draft drug test, leaving Gavin Lux as the #1 SS available. The Dodgers liked what they saw and grabbed him up early (he had been ranked the #40 talent available).

Anyways, best of luck to Gavin with his professional career. Hope to see him manning short in Chavez Ravine soon and for a long time into the future!

This has got to be the first time in my collecting history that I've already had a card (much less a budding PC) of a guy as he was taken as a 1st round draft pick. Mr. Lux isn't the first 1st round Gavin, though, as he joins Gavin Floyd (4th overall to the Phillies in 2001) and Gavin Cecchini (12th overall to the Mets in 2012) as highly drafted Gavins.

Let's take a look at my Gavin Lux collection as it stood on the day he was drafted.

Here's some sick mojo, #'d /5 and /4, respectively. The fact that he went to a big market team most likely helped boost the value of his cards. Which is nice for the cards I already had, but might suck as I try to add to my PC going forward. For example, when he eventually gets a Bowman Chrome card, will I even want to try to rainbow it? Probably not, as I'd have a lot of LA fans to compete with. Oh well, at least I grabbed these couple sweet cards cheaply while I could!

Two of the same card /25. One of them is a Christmas Card(!!!). The other is a dupe but I guess I'll hang onto it for now.

And a couple non-numbered autos round out my auto-heavy little Gavin Lux PC.

So yeah, a decent PC to start out with. You traders out there, while you may be compelled to send all your future Gavin Lux cards to Dodgers collectors (not naming names --NIGHT OWL), don't forget about your pal Gavin who was collecting him back when he was in high school!
Again, best of luck, Gavin!

-   -  -- ---o

Speaking of good stuff happening to guys named Gavin, things have been great with me lately. I'm digging my new job and really like the people in my team. Also my wife's graduation ceremony was today.. officially done with school now, getting her MBA with honors.. very proud of her! And a couple days ago she finally got that promotion she interviewed for like a month ago (at the same company I work for). So she's stoked on that. Oh, and for a graduation present from her folks, she got a new smartphone. You know what that means! I get handed down her old phone, and while I won't have service on it, at least I'll again have nice, pocket-sized camera. I'm excited for that!

So yeah, celebrating good times here over at Baseball Card Breakdown HQ!

That's it for today. Keep on rocking, everybody.

Bought a hat and got some cards

I didn't get around to buying any Walmart pizza to snag those exclusive Topps cards, but I had been thinking of buying a new ballcap, so when I heard about the Lids/New Era exclusive Topps cards, I figured I'd take a look.

I wasn't planning on going to the mall yesterday, but some rail service interruptions on my commute home essentially left me stranded at the mall while things got back to normal. So I went ahead and did some shopping. Got a couple pairs of shorts and a pair of shoes from Ross then found the Lids store. I had been looking for a current Padres hat, but their SD selection was pretty limited, so I ended up with a throwback. (Update: as Marcus points out, it's not actually a throwback, but rather the new cap for the Padres Friday home games this year.)

I erred on the side of too-big with my cap, as I have a big mellon and hate a tight hat giving me a headache. But hopefully it shrinks a bit as it's supposed to, because currently I have the dilemma of whether to tuck in my ears, or let the hat push them down and dumbo them out. Neither are ideal. So let's hope it shrinks some or else this hat will likely be worn exclusively during times I'm in need of a haircut.
But yeah, I got my pack of cards and was on my way.

It's a wise partnership by Topps and hopefully this will successfully get some people into/back-into the hobby. Would love to see oddballs like this make a return to prominence like in the days when it was common to get cards with food products and the like.

From the astronomical odds of pulling a non-base card listed on the wrapper (1:423 are your best odds at anything), they sure must have made a lot of these. But you figure a large percentage of them will be given to guys who don't care about cards and will get thrown away.

Anyways, let's see who I pulled.

A couple promising young pitchers, Marcus Stroman and Jacob deGrom. The cards mimic Topps 2016 flagship design, though feature different photos.

Buster Posey is a pretty good name to pull, I suppose.

Here we go! A guy I collect: Andrew McCutchen. Glad I pulled at least one keeper for my collection.

Here's the back. Pretty similar to flagship, but with the "New Era" numbering.

The hat was pretty pricey, so I've thrown the Stroman, deGrom, and Posey on eBay, hoping to recoup a few bucks and make me feel slightly better about the purchase. Check out my listings here if you want. (I always throw in customs as bonus cards, btw.) If they don't sell, they'll be available for trade. (UPDATE: I was able to sell the Posey, but looks like the other 2 are available.)

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend, everybody.

Trade roundup for one

Seems like a few weeks since I last did a trade roundup. And it's not because I've been slacking, but because I just haven't gotten a trade package in that time. But P-town Tom heroically broke my cold streak with a sweet mailer of cards.

Kicking off with a couple autos. While I've already got the four needed letter A cards in my project of spelling BASEBALL CARD BREAKDOWN, there's a good chance this Mike Leake card will bump one of them out, what with him being an established major leaguer and hey, San Diego born, to boot. Not sure who my other A cards are off the top of my head, but chances are at least one of them is a failed prospect.
As for the other card here, I don't really know anything about Chris Betts, but when I saw Tom pulled a Christmas Card out of a box of Leaf Draft, I let it be known I was interested if it was available. (Really guys, if you get a card numbered 12/25, just assume I'm interested in trading for it!) Cool looking card. Best of luck to Chris Betts with his career.

As a Cubs/Team USA fan, looks like Tom had some Kris Bryant dupes to share. Nice!

The Giles Brothers and the Vogelmoster! That sounds like the title of a cheesy book for young adults.

Some appreciated cards of dudes I collect. Of special note is the yellow bordered box-bottom Brett, and the Yaz that I remember recently seeing on Completely Arbitrary and thinking to myself that was a cool card and I hoped to get a copy someday. So that worked out nicely!

We wrap up with a great lot for my 2011 Topps parallel frankenset. Oh how they sparkle!

Big thanks for the trade, Tom!