Thursday, February 6, 2014

Is it possible to know romantic love with a card?

I'm sure everyone reading this has cards in their collection they love. Your favorite card of your favorite player. Perhaps a rad old vintage card you've had forever. Or maybe a really scare "hit" you were lucky enough to pull one glorious summer's day.

But what about romantic love?

Can someone truly love a card, romantically?

Yes, I love this card and we are getting married as soon as the law allows for a man to marry a trading card.

Isn't this the most beautiful card you've ever seen? Depicted upon it is a lovely girl stretching back in a beautiful grassy field on a perfect afternoon. Heaven.

Sure, like us all, she's not without her flaws. For instance, (don't tell her I said this, but) she'd be so much more attractive had she been born an on-card auto, rather than a sticker auto. And she's a little "old" for my taste. I like my cards to be serial numbered 12/25. So at 24/25, she's a bit over the hill.

But I don't care! I still love her!

And by the adorably cute heart in front of the signature, I know this card loves me, too.

As for the human pictured on my cardboard concubine, well, she's cool, too, I guess.

Carly Patterson is an Olympic gymnast. Or she was. She's retired now. She had a great athletic career, being named the 2004 Olympic All-Around Champion and later inducted into the USA Gymnastics Hall of Fame. (And now I've got her autograph!) These days, she's a pop singer, married and living in Texas. I checked out a song of hers on YouTube..

Meh, it's fine for that kind of thing, but not the type of music I listen to much at all.

Now, in the comments, tell me all about your romantic escapades with cards. Oh wait-- no, nevermind. Let's not. Ignore this post. It's kinda creepy. Hopefully the tongue-in-cheekiness of it came through.

Still, it's a nice card.


  1. Ha!

    I met her back in her gymnast days and got some IP autos. She was pretty cool.

  2. Believe it or not, this is not the creepiest post I have read this week about someone romantically loving an inanimate object. Yup, I have some weird Facebook friends.

  3. I think I may be collecting the wrong type of cards...!

  4. I've got your back. In fact, I'd like to be buried with my 56T Jackie Robinson, so it'll be with me forever (but not in a romantic way... I promise).