I'm sure everyone reading this has cards in their collection they love. Your favorite card of your favorite player. Perhaps a rad old vintage card you've had forever. Or maybe a really scare "hit" you were lucky enough to pull one glorious summer's day.
But what about romantic love?
Can someone truly love a card, romantically?
Yes, I love this card and we are getting married as soon as the law allows for a man to marry a trading card.
Isn't this the most beautiful card you've ever seen? Depicted upon it is a lovely girl stretching back in a beautiful grassy field on a perfect afternoon. Heaven.
Sure, like us all, she's not without her flaws. For instance, (don't tell her I said this, but) she'd be so much more attractive had she been born an on-card auto, rather than a sticker auto. And she's a little "old" for my taste. I like my cards to be serial numbered 12/25. So at 24/25, she's a bit over the hill.
But I don't care! I still love her!
And by the adorably cute heart in front of the signature, I know this card loves me, too.
As for the human pictured on my cardboard concubine, well, she's cool, too, I guess.
Carly Patterson is an Olympic gymnast. Or she was. She's retired now. She had a great athletic career, being named the 2004 Olympic All-Around Champion and later inducted into the USA Gymnastics Hall of Fame. (And now I've got her autograph!) These days, she's a pop singer, married and living in Texas. I checked out a song of hers on YouTube..
Meh, it's fine for that kind of thing, but not the type of music I listen to much at all.
Now, in the comments, tell me all about your romantic escapades with cards. Oh wait-- no, nevermind. Let's not. Ignore this post. It's kinda creepy. Hopefully the tongue-in-cheekiness of it came through.
Still, it's a nice card.