Sunday, October 26, 2014

Attn: baseball card related companies: Hire me!

My dream job is to work in baseball cards in some capacity. With my current employment assignment ending in the next couple weeks, I just thought I would make it known to the intranetwebs that I'm available to hire.

I'll be quick to mention that I was sort of courted for a job at Upper Deck a few months ago that I turned down. My now-wife is still a year-plus away from finishing grad school at Portland State, and I didn't think it'd be good timing to move away. She told me after the fact that I should have pursued it and she would have gone along with me and gone thru the hassle of transferring to a new college (she's a keeper!).

My baseball card resumé is that I run this little blog and I really love baseball cards (well, all sports, but chiefly baseball). This blog was voted "best new blog of 2013" by a small sample size of independent blog readers. My strength may be my creativity and photoshopping baseball cards.

COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL: A bright idea of mine is to bring animated gifs to the digital card world (i.e., Topps Bunt). Personally I don't get paying money for a jpg that looks like a baseball card. Boring. But what might be cool would be to have "action" parallels that are animated gifs. Show a "preview" still image and make it so you have to pay to see it in action. Take advantage of what real cards can't do. That'd be worth 50 cents!

Also glittering parallels and other neat looking borders and whatnot.

(imagine a photo of an athlete in the middle of that. Awesome!)
Keep in mind this idea of monetizing animated gifs of baseball cards is a registered copyrighted idea, so any baseball card companies who like the idea, you must hire me to be able to use it.

Let's look at the major baseball card companies of today.

Topps: I don't think I could move to New York, unfortunately. I'm a West Coast guy. If they'd be down for hiring me "telecommute" style, that'd be ideal. I could whip up any photoshop-jobs they need.. select photos (I'm an excellent voice of the people with his finger on the pulse of your core market).. make my copyrighted "Topps Bunt Action" parallels. Whatever! Come on, Topps! I'll work for minimum wage. Please contact me.

Panini: Texas? I don't know. I could probably do Austin if it was a great situation. Panini is based by Dallas, though. Yeah, that might be tough. But again, telecommute works! Come on Terry Hackler and Co., better snatch me up before Topps signs me! I could be the visionary you need to take your company to the next level.

Upper Deck: Carlsbad, CA (just a bit outside San Diego). That's a good location. I'm a So. Cal boy, so "going home" for my dream job would be perfect. There were some things about California that I was glad to escape (drought, high taxes/economic turmoil), but for the right situation, I'd be ok with going back. Upper Deck is in a "do or die" period right now, with Topps and Panini stomping them down. They need me to be their secret weapon to make them relevant again.

Who else is there? Press Pass? Where are they located? North Carolina.. hmm, maybe.
Anybody else?

Peripheral companies? COMC. They're in Washington state.. not too far from my home in Portland. I could probably swing that.

Beckett? Dallas, TX again. Sheee.., what's up with Dallas and cards?

PSA? Newport Beach, CA. That's a bit close to the clusterfudge that is LA, but I could consider it.

Ultra Pro? Commerce, CA? Oh man, that is right in the heart of the traffic nightmare that is Los Angeles Metro. No thanks. But again, if you're open to a telecommuting position, please contact me.

So that's what pops into mind so far. Again, any baseball card company hiring manager out there reading this, I'm your man. I will guide your brand into glory and financial success. I'll work cheap and I'll work great. Please hurry and get in touch before your competitors gobble me up. I'm only 0.1% joking here. Seriously, do it.

Thank you.


  1. I'll hire you. But only to make custom Mets cards. And I'll have to pay you with real Mets cards, mostly commons. ;)

  2. I think you would be a great applicant for one of these companies.

  3. Only thing to be wary of is making your passion also your job. You don't want baseball cards to suddenly be a source of stress. Read this article:

  4. The moving cards remind me of the ones in Harry Potter!

  5. I read this last night thanks to the tweet you posted. I can't believe COMC was so quick to get in touch with you. Maybe I should try a similar approach. The only problem is, I don't have the skills you do.